Why We Refuse to Criticize Other Dog Trainers Publicly

If we have learned anything recently, viral videos, memes, celebrity endorsements, and continual assertions about how terrible those other people are, doesn’t work to win hearts and minds. So why do so many dog trainers spend time correcting and calling out other trainers, using the same tactics that don’t convince the general public or even other trainers?

Early in our dog training education it became obvious that there was a low boiling war between so-called positive trainers and so-called balanced trainers. Both sides seemed equally ready to practice punishment as a means to change the behavior of the other trainers. While there may be some sort of personal sense of satisfaction to acting this way, for people who need help or even relief from behavior issues with their own dogs, spending time berating those who operate differently does nothing for the pet parent on the edge.

Almost every week we hear from dog guardians who are afraid of or unsure of their dogs. We hear from parents whose toddler just got a dog bite to the face. We hear from wives who are stuck training large powerful dogs without much help. We hear from puppy parents who can't understand why their dog won’t stop nipping or jumping or going potty indoors. We also hear from people in crisis or at the edge of crisis. The addict or alcoholic who relapsed because they are overwhelmed by their dogs. The dad who before he knew it yelled at the dog after a rough day at work. The parents of a child with behavior issues who worry their kid will injure the dog.

While the majority of our clients simply want a calmer dog or a dog they can play or cuddle with, some of our clients and the clients of many trainers, are feeling lost and ready to give up.

We cannot help these families if we’re focused on endless debates about methods and philosophies. To a number of these clients, this talk is purely inside baseball and does nothing to help them build resilience and calm. When trainers get so caught up with pointing fingers, going to the point of hunting down other trainers at their homes to protest, we lose the trust of the public who don’t understand why we’re not spending that time creating better ways to help dogs and people on a holistic level.

Recently a popular internet trainer spoke about how positive trainers “don’t owe positive reinforcement” to aversive trainers. The problem with this position is that if we’re telling pet parents to embrace non-aversive methods yet in our own behavior, we are punishing other trainers, it makes it hard to have a believable and congruent message that is taken seriously by those who need our help. Being a hypocrite is part of being a human. Understanding our own hypocrisy is part of being an accountable trainer. Being quick to comment on how another trainer is wrong isn’t as important as being quick to realize when we are.

It is part of our practice as trainers and businesspeople to be attuned to the needs of our clients. Training with a family is part performance, part instruction, and part counselor. When a client wants to use a prong or e-collar, we don’t judge them or tell them that they’re abusive for considering the use of such tools. We share and show what works without pain or fear. We share what makes collaboration easier and more effective. We don’t smack talk whichever trainer online or off suggested the tool.

Abuse is never acceptable in dog training! It helps to note that there is a difference between an aversive trainer who is yelling and yanking at a dog and a balanced trainer who very judicially uses tools many positive reinforcement trainers don’t. As a wise trainer and behaviorist once told me in an email, all trainers should be aware of all the tools, even if they’re rarely or never used.

This world will never be perfect. No dog will ever be perfect. No trainer, or pet parent, or veterinarian will be perfect. We all are trying to be happier, more loving, saner, and more compassionate. Most of us are also trying to learn how to have boundaries and how to respect ourselves and others. In our business, our goal is to train happy and foster collaboration between a dog and their family. We apply this sentiment to other trainers and seek to support, empower, and where feasible, collaborate with them. Becoming divisive and spending time denouncing other trainers heals no one. It’s a self-reinforcing behavior that serves the trainer hellbent on vengeance and punishment. It does nothing to help other trainers become more effective and proficient trainers.

We will continue to reach out to trainers in our area, in our shared methodology, and those whom we don’t fully agree with but can clearly see their love and respect for dogs and their owners. We chose to unite with others instead of decry them to the point of meaningless inertia.